Cooking a cooking story

It is usual for that bank branch to conduct a “branch-all” employee meeting every month-ending-week’s end, just to discuss about the month gone by and some official gossip time for ladies after that. Being a new joinee, my wife didn’t know about the meeting and also that she had a role to play as part of the corporate ragging for new joinees.

Last Friday afternoon….. my wife’s frantic voice on cellphone – ” ###### (the name she calls me), tell me a story….. want to include it in the extempore presentation imposed on me! I should say a story at the end and it should end with a moral. The VP might be attending.” She had all the fervor in her voice a new joinee usually has.

I was lost for a moment. “Story…eh…I was thinking of one myself to blog about for so long… BTW why is that – A story at the end of the presentation? Oh, might be to wake up all those sleeping in the meeting?” I tried joking.

“Please…will dedicate all my time at home to hear your jokes, but not now….help me. Tell me one good story. It is just 15 minutes for the presentation.”

“Whoa!!Why don’t you say one of those Panchatantra stories or Aesop’s fables?”

“I don’t remember any”, she said. Also I don’t have time to read any new. Just remind me of some story which I already know, but can’t recall.”

“How will I know what all stories you know. Better call your mom and ask what stories she used to tell to make you asleep!!”

“Please……be serious…..lemme cut the phone now, will call you after 5 mins. Meanwhile, I will prepare other topics”

As the number of ‘please’ increased, I started thinking hard for some story she already knows, but doesn’t remember now (what a situation!!!)

After a few mins I called back.
“Look, I thought a lot. But didn’t get an idea what stories you already know. Why don’t you cook your own story for time being. After all it is your first meeting and your first try. It is okay to fail, but fail fast and don’t bore them.”

“Cook my own story? Why did I call you then? Gimme some nice tip at least on what to say”

“Cook a story…ahem…. Idea!!!! (bulb glowing in head )….why don’t you say one of your cooking experiences as a story?”

“My cooking experiences? What will I say as the message?”

“Say about the proprietary Kerala dish that you tried preparing and how it finally ended up in the waste bin without even leaving the possibility of it getting tasted. As the moral, tell them that when one tries cooking something new, never allow their husband to be anywhere near the kitchen because you will never know when he turns the pages of the cooking recipe book in between, and you start with one dish till mid-way and proceed with the second part of some other dish in some other page. BTW take extreme care to put the blame on the low-light conditions you were cooking in.”

A nodding laugh was heard and the phone was cut.

The latest news I heard was that all of them who attended the meeting were busy writing down the dish’s recipe and they never wanted a moral for that story at the end.